Jake and the Neverland Pirates

What the HELL is going on with this show? There are no Lost Boys. Captain Hook and Mr. Smee are the only adult pirates. There is a group of child pirates, but they're good?!? Peter Pan is not in the show, but he sends letters to the child pirates to help them out. Why is Peter Pan helping pirates?

I want to know what happened to everybody in Neverland. Was there a war that killed off the Lost Boys and left only Hook and Smee alive? Did everybody feel like it was time to grow up and go to the real world? Where did this Jake kid come from and why is he in charge? Why doesn't Hook know to run in a serpentine fashion to get away from crocodiles? Know your enemy, Hook!

And these guys do a song after each episode.

Is this some sort of subliminal pirate training sim? It's turning our children into pirates!

Somebody had better get a subliminal ninja training sim on the air right f'ing quick.